10 Ideas to Beat Summer Boredom
“I was really looking forward to summer, but I’m already worn out from their complaints of boredom!” ~ Parents everywhere ~
Having the kids off school during the summer is a mixed bag. The long-anticipated freedom from being over-scheduled quickly gives way to the stressful fatigue of managing high-intensity kids looking for outlets. As our children get older, for instance as we leave nap times behind, it becomes easier to step away during the summer from the daily rhythms that usually give our days shape. It’s fun and even restful at first, but then we forget that those rhythms also help to steer the family and reduce pushback in daily life. It’s exhausting to constantly be ‘herding cats’, or trying to muscle our kids into ‘helping’ or ‘things to occupy them’.
“Let rhythm replace strength.”
As parents, we can still reap the helpful benefits of rhythm during the summer free-for-all by getting creative. Perhaps it’s just embracing rhythms with a different cadence, such as later bedtimes, different seasonal foods, regular trips to farmer’s markets or the lake/pool instead of after-school events. But what about the large block of daytime typically occupied by ‘school’ for most families?
I’m making the case for leaning in to what I euphemistically (and with a twinkle) call ‘real life.’ Real world practice of skills and events belong in the fabric of our children’s lives, and especially in the fabric of their summers. I developed this perspective during my children’s childhood; I was inspired in part by the results I saw in the families of my homebirth clients, and motivated by the combination of my wildly busy professional life and very thin budget as a single mom.
Changed pacing is summer’s special gift.
Children have the opportunity to blossom in new areas during a season of unscheduled time. This son barely read until the third grade, and then that summer read SIX full-length Harry Potter books!
I found that while attending a camp or two (the years I could afford them) were special, it was equally true that the kids could make fun memories and advance their skills through other means. In the overwhelming daily work of raising our children, our broader responsibility to help them become capable adults is easily driven to the peripheral vision of our lives. Which becomes our rear-view mirror all too quickly! (For the list I made after-the-fact when my first graduated high school, see “50 Things I Hope I You Know.”)
I found summer to be a wonderful window where down time could combine with the time-to-learn-the-things-that-it-takes-time-to-learn. From the sides of both older kids and parents, there’s also more space and enthusiasm for doing things together; summer maximizes our dwindling opportunity to impart skills, values, and even the family bibliography. My kids knew not to complain too much; there was always lots that needed to be done, and they understood that getting a ride to go swimming meant they had to contribute to the family’s household equilibrium first. I consider this understanding to be a basic life skill.
Here are 10 ideas to get you going!
1 - More Responsibility
Confidence and self-image grow, and whining reduces, when children are valued and skilled contributors. Start them working side-by-side with you from the earliest age doing whatever needs to get done. This is the investment parenting requires, and it pays off greatly later. These skills increase their independence, capabilities, and contentment. And gives them a foundation on which to build their own interests.
2 - More dirt, more water, more mess outside.
Very tidy lawns and sterile play structures are BORING! And boring for skill development. Trust me, if you’re bored there, they are too. Get a sandbox or a messy mud corner so they can utilize nature’s supplies, and they’ll be happy and busy for HOURS! Unkept areas with sticks, stones, and creatures to discover are even better.
3 - Preschoolers
This age group loves a plastic knife to cut up vegetables for dinner. Start with cucumbers that you’ve cut long-wise, placing flat side down for stability. (If they’re very young, they might benefit from peeling a single strip across the top so their knife can get traction. Leave the skin on the sides of the cucumber, so little hands have a more satisfying thing to ‘saw.’) Your kiddos will slice and chop away industriously, and then proudly urge everyone to eat ‘their’ veggies as an extra benefit.
Advanced version? Adventure to the farmer’s market together where you give them a few dollars and supervise them picking out something new to try (you get to vote too, everyone is eating this.) Together you can ask the grower for a good simple recipe for dinner. Kids ADORE this, and shall we count the ‘real life’ skills too? Starting with learning to evaluate produce quality and value, helping their taste buds learn new flavors, exploring new food textures, navigating crowds, making decisions, being patient, planning, enjoying colors, handling money, budgeting, talking to someone new, looking adults in the eye, following directions, learning to understand how other adults share information, seeing other kids at work with their parents… and more!
4 - Elementary-age:
Have them plan a themed dinner, including cooking, dessert, and artful homemade placemats. Trust me, they are much more capable than they are often given credit for. If this is new for your family, help them get started with hot dogs and carrot sticks. OR - They could collect sticks as part of yard work, and have the fun of building a fire for roasting hotdogs and s’mores!
Many families rely on teamed-up siblings or best friend pairs for rotating prepping and serving family meals each week. Adjust supervision accordingly.
5 - Middle Schoolers
What do you need organized? Lean into their interests, you clever parent, and let them go to town.
Your history buff could organize family photos, tidy kids would make short work of the messy linen closet, or perhaps your teen slob could be motivated to revamp their bedroom with a quick trip to the resale furniture store or promise of painting the walls together? Does someone in the family dream of a profession in health care? Maybe they should evaluate your medicine chest and first aid kit, make recommendations at a family meeting, budget their improvements, and have the satisfaction of purchasing and assembling your unique natural remedies tool kit?
6 - High Schoolers
Detail the car inside and out, elbow grease version.
This is most effective with the kid who has their eyes on the driver’s ed schedule and car keys, if you know what I mean.
7 - Grown-ups
Use your kids’ energy to tackle projects you are avoiding, and use the time together to build on connection and memories. Prep for success by including your kids in the planning, but don’t take all their resistance to heart. A “Clean the Garage Day” could include spray hoses, party music, and end with a trip to the donation store and ice cream shop.
8- Don’t underestimate the value of boredom.
In the age of cell phones, tablets and apps, it’s quite easy to get in the habit of prioritizing tidy, quiet, and kids that stay out of the way. But my own experience 100% illustrates the experts’ research - that creative play, every day with everyday objects, is the baseline for raising resourceful, problem-solving, pleasant, and brilliant adults. Even though parents may find it an untidy process in every way.
The little kid in this picture is now about to graduate with an aerospace engineering degree, and is already a valued professional in his field. His best toys were not found in any store, but he did tell us a LOT of stories about flying in his spaceship.
9- Free stuff
Start with your local library. Look for free passes to events, seasonal festivals, museums or reciprocal facilities. Teach the kids about how to find resources. Ask about items you can check out - in our town there are life size chess sets for the lawn, huge telescopes, decent sound systems, giant puzzles and more. Of course, almost all libraries have summer reading programs that come with coupons, gift certificates or prizes for completion.
Also, search your county or state for low cost local events. The year my sons were obsessed with magicians, I found a day-long magic convention within a couple hours’ drive, complete with free performances and a vendor hall filled with great people demonstrating (and sometimes explaining) the tricks they were hawking. $20 spending money gave the boys a wonderful day of considering all of the merchandise, and then pooling their money to negotiate purchasing their favorites. The vendors took these earnest youths under their wings for the day, and then the boys have entertained multiple households with their increasingly skillful magic tricks over the years!
10 - Your people
Who’s in your tribe? Your neighborhood, your church community? Do you have cool relatives? (Or tolerable relatives who live in cool places? LOL) Do you have old friends who do interesting things? My boys have benefited from adopted uncles who taught them horse-back riding and how to play pool, a week being doted on with a real uncle and aunt in a totally different part of the country, going fishing in high country and learning firearm safety from a family friend and veteran, and having gift wish lists directed towards swimming lessons and wilderness adventures. (Ps. Outward Bound has my highest recommendation for their programs, and is a fantastic place to donate!)
Keep in mind - It’s more fun to feel pulled into action with others, rather than pushed to work alone. What fun family plan could help everyone lean in to their projects or contributions? How about a swim or family bike ride after dinner? Most of all - feel free to ‘think outside the box’, trust your kids to create their own fun, and make sure you share some laughs every day! (Maybe a joke book will count towards Summer Reading contest?). Have fun!